


we are what you want us to be,

by tiinyrobin



Category: Batman (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance, Sappy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-01 09:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5201156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiinyrobin/pseuds/tiinyrobin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't want us to be more than what you want."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> some 11 pm feeling I had.  
> a desire for something or someone.

They were tired, weary and beaten from the nights patrol. Limbs entwined, resting in an embrace that brought warmth, comfort and that _safe_ feeling. 

The younger of the two stirred first, the sunlight peeping from out behind the blinds and shining bright on his eyes. Sky blue eyes opened and scanned the elders face, a soft smile forming at watching how peaceful he was at rest. How peaceful they were. How beautiful it was when the two set aside differences and hate to settle down and love. He was happy. 

What they had wasn't a relationship, not officially. It was either one of them didn't want it or one did and just wouldn't speak. Wouldn't bring the idea, the thought, of being more to the table. They would wake up, untangle themselves, give a few hopeless glances and then go their separate ways until the next time they met, the next time they _needed_ each other. He wanted. Wanted to get out of bed and have himself hear the words 'Stay' and do it. He wanted to hold hands and have this warmth with him always. not just a few hours every so often. It was probably selfish of him to want. To crave. To even think of asking. 

"I can hear you thinking." The elder had finally risen, teal eyes matching the sky in front of him. He smiled and let out a chuckle, his voice deep with sleep. 

"I was thinking." This got the older ones attention, he began to wake up and his eyes spoke 'Humor me'. "I was thinking about us." 

Us. 

**Us**

"What about us Tim?" 

"What are we?" 

That was a good question, certainly a question that crossed the pair's minds every time they met up, every time they got close to touch. 

They were something that Jason has wanted. Something that Tim has wanted. That love, that attention that came with this. They were certainly not the title, not the one that each of them craved. Wanted. 

"We are whatever you want us to be." Which is what I want to; it goes unspoken. 

"I don't want us to be more than what you want." 

He stopped speaking, he just looked and felt. The hard lines of Jason's battle-scared arms, the dips and curves of his back. 

"I do want more though." 

Another smile and chuckle from Jason. His eyes shone with excitement and love. Past all the heartbreak and hatred, he was such a compassionate person. Sticking true to his ideals and beliefs, needing that urge to have someone around, someone or something to protect despite the threats he makes otherwise. It's one of the little things Tim loves about Jason. Something he desires to see more of. 

Forget how selfish it sounds. Jason wants the same. 

"As do I."


	2. i retrace our every step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> x

_So, dear, no matter how we part, I hold you sweetly in my head._

On the worst days he can remember everything that happened between them. Every fight, every scar, every bruise he'd leave. Every drop of blood he'd spill. Every hurtful word that went spoken and unsaid. On the worst days they are so vivid it's crippling. It hurts to remember he did something to someone he cares so much about. He regrets every being that person he was before.

He's done pretty well so far. Fixing himself up, with the help of others, into quite a decent man. The blood he's spilled on his own hands won't wash away, it won't ever, but he's not adding onto it. 

Watching Tim smile and laugh and sip at the steaming cup of coffee in his hands made him remember. 

All of the good and all of the bad. It made him glad that this is now and they aren't where they were _then_

He stays now. (Tim prefers it, he does too) 

"I love you."

It's sudden. It makes him stop thinking and start to focus back on Tim. A mixture of delicateness and the ruggedness of Gotham, strict reminder that the job makes you grow up early. A smile works it's way on to his face. The words spoken pulling on those specific strings that make his heart beat twice as fast and all the thoughts on his brain melt. 

"I love you too." Tim abandons his cup and is moving closer to Jason. A familiar heat attaches itself to his body. He feels warm and sweet, like Tim's cup of coffee if he was trying to be poetic. 

They embrace, Tim tightly holding onto Jason as if _he were leaving._ Jason running his hands through Tim's inky mess of hair until he feels Tim relax against him. 

"I'm not going anywhere."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaa, I felt like I needed to write something for this. All the other fics have me stumped so it was good to get this out.
> 
> follow me over at tiinyrobin.tumblr.com for more AU's and stuff. feel free to send me messages with some prompts!


	3. blue jeans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I keep coming back to this because feelings :,)

_you fit me better than my favorite sweater_

Tim felt warm and safe and he was getting those gushy feelings as if he were younger and new to this. This feeling. The thought of how they fit together so well, so much better than he could have imagined or wanted. 

Everything between them, and everything not between them wasn't all text book perfect. It was anything but. At times their love could be mean, vicious and sometimes it hurt. What could be expected? They were two rough-around-the-edges people. Two people who've experienced hell and back, literally and metaphorically. 

It gets tough. Not all of their moments together can be like this. Warm, safe and gushy. Jason focused on the TV and keeping Tim as tight towards him as he could and Tim focused on Jason and being as relaxed as he could. The lines of focus on the man made him smile. 

He knows that whatever they'll go through, it's not going to do anything to change his feelings. He made a promise to himself, _forever and always_ and he intends to keep it. 

"Remember that you're mine?" One hand reaches up and holds his cheek, the other clutching his white shirt where it fades into blue jeans. 

The focus redirects to Tim. "I'll remember, could use a little reminder." 

They both laughed, the hearty sound filling in the quiet, empty space of the apartment. Their apartment. 

"No matter what I'd be by your side." 

Jason gives him a peck on the cheek. It creates warm contact, a flush in his cheeks. 

He's warmer now, warmer and feeling the butterflies in his stomach multiply. Its like a too intense dream crush all over again, except he's living it. Warmth and butterflies are all reality. Watching Jason's profile, he thinks they're good side effects to have considering what he's got. 

_I will love you till the end of time_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are very much appreciated !


	4. doomed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :-) why did I write this

_I'm sorry, but it's too late And it's not worth saving So come rain on my parade I think we're doomed_

In their line of work, there's no gurantee that you'll make it home that night. Whether it's because of a mugging or a warehouse explosion, a little slip up on the roof or a stray bullet. 

If you make it home that's great. You live to see another day and risk your life all over again. 

It's for the greater good. For making this place a more suitable place to live. 

Today Jason has learned that praying doesn't and will not stop the crimson from leaking from Tim. The hand pressed against the wound is wet and sticky with the inky, red mess spilling out his side. 

He's dying. Bleeding out and gasping for air. The tiniest little smile on his face as he weakly curls his hand around Jason's. 

"I think... we're kinda cursed. Or you know.. doomed." He laughs softly but then coughs afterwards. Specks of blood littering his hand.

"Tim no- just hold on okay? You're going to be fine." 

The wounded shakes his head, his grip on Jason's hand tightens up. 

"You can't save me...you haven't been able to so far, s-so what makes this time different." 

Jason's startled by the sudden edge in Tim's voice. The fact that he is completely devoid of hope and any trust in Jason. 

"Look around Jason. Look what you've managed so far." 

He does. He looks away from Tim to look around in the room. A warehouse, filled with several Tim's. The one he's with now is the only still breathing. 

\- 

Jason wakes up in a cold sweat. His heart beating rapidly he feels like he's going to lose it. Tim is beside him, groaning because his peaceful sleep was disturbed. 

Jason sees he's ok. _Jason is now ok_ Which means they are ok and that wasn't reality. 

"Sorry." Jason wipes his forehead with the edge of his shirt and returns to his laying position. Tim scoots his way into that little space between his arm and his side. Sighing contently in getting comfortable. 

"Are you ok?" 

"Yeah I'm fine. You're ok." 

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" 

They grew silent for a while. Jason's heart rate and breathing eventually evening itself out. 

_"We're ok, we're not doomed. Everything's going to be ok."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are much appreciated !


	5. the heartless and loving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seem to only update this story when I'm not feeling well :,)

_For I am the heartless and loving, For I am the loving you'll see. Come close, don't you dare get too close,_ Jason is a horrible person. He doesn't need anyone else to tell him that. He doesn't need a lecture or a lesson on ethics. He tells himself and that's enough. 

He can't see why Tim stays by his side as he does. Even now Tim is curled up on the couch, underneath a blanket because it's cold, his head is placed in Jason's lap, eyes fixated on the TV. 

_"You have a problem with being loved."_

He knew that. It didn't mean he knew how to stop. 

_"I'm not going anywhere Jayce."_

He should. He should leave. Let Jason be lonely. (It's not at all what he wants but it's what he deserves) 

"Stop it." He feels a light slap on his cheek and Tim is staring up at him. "I can feel you brooding." 

He wasn't brooding. He was not like Bruce. Jason Todd didn't brood. He was just... deep in thought which may have dampened his mood. 

"You've been so distant lately. Something wrong?" 

_'Yes, yes somethings wrong. Everything's wrong and I don't know what to do. I am scared.'_

He shook his head but Tim didn't accept it. The younger man frowned pushing himself up so he could better talk with Jason. 

"I'm here you know. Can't get rid of me so easily, so whatever is on your mind you can say it." 

"Not right now Tim. I can't right now.." He mumbles quietly, loud enough for him to hear however. 

Tim doesn't seem to mind, he knows eventually Jason will come around. Spill his guts about his insecurities (It's going to happen later that night).

Night came. They were in a familiar position, Tim squished up against Jason's side (It was for warmth he swore). Jason was leaning back on a pile of pillows. 

"I don't think I deserve you." It came out of the blue. Tim was nearly asleep until he heard Jason spoke. The heavy words vibrating out of his chest. 

So that's what this is about. 

"Why do you think that Jason?" 

He hesitated, took a deep breathe before speaking. "'Cause I'm a bad person Tim. I do bad things." 

Tim huffed as if it was the dumbest thing he'd ever heard. It was. He sat up, sitting directly in front of Jason, straddling Jason's hips. "You're a complete idiot." 

"Tim-" 

"You _did_ some questionable things Jason yes that's- there's no denying. The main point there is did. You're a human being who deserves happiness, so don't ever say you don't deserve me cause you do." 

Jason's teal eyes quickly averted Tim's gaze, looking anywhere but at his lover. 

"Jason." 

"Jason." 

_"Jason Peter Todd. Look at me."_ His voice wasn't stern, it wasn't like he was giving an order on the field. He tried his best to stay soft spoken but it was getting harder with his frustration. 

He finally gave in. Tim placing his hand softly on his cheeks. 

"You're wonderful ok? If anyone deserves me its you. I said so, so it's final got that?" 

Jason still looked... sad. Lost? Like he was beating himself up? Tim didn't know the correct word for it but something was still wrong. 

"What else is bothering you?" 

"It's.." 

_"It's the fact that I am such a broken human being, I can't help you, you're always too busy helping me."_

There was more. But Jason figured he shouldn't bother Tim about it. There was no use to dwell on it any longer. 

"It's the fact that you're such a dork." 

Tim is frowning and his cheeks are growing red. Jason is now grinning happily. 

"Is that it?" 

He nodded before being pulled into a kiss. It was quick, Tim was back into his spot by Jason's side after it was over. 

"Next time in calling Alfred." Tim paused before speaking again. "And I'm not a dork, you are." 


	6. the calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's happy I promise

Watching Tim eat was both amazing and... _disgusting._ Jason is 99.9% sure Tim consumes all of his body weight in a week. 

Tim is eating peanut butter out of the jar when he gets home. There's a plate with two pieces of bread on it. Tim is eating the peanut butter. He has the nerve to look Jason in the eyes and smile, before taking another spoonful in his mouth. 

"Hi. I was just about to make some spaghetti." 

Jason can't really complain. He preferred Tim with an appetite to Workaholic Tim. Workaholic Tim only lived off of caffeine and Chex-mix. This Tim, his Tim eats anything in sight. Good thing he doesn't pay for the groceries because hell. Tim would eat him out of roof and home. 

"Is that the new peanut butter I bought? The one from yesterday?" Jason watches as Tim twists back on the top and munches on a piece of bread. Plain white bread. 

"Maybe.." He's reaching in the pantry to put away the jar, switching it out for a box of noddles. He might as well had just finished it off, there was probably only about three spoonfuls left. 

Jason sighs and abandons his jacket, setting it down on the dining room table before stepping into the kitchen. He made a mental note to go to the store _again_ for more peanut butter. 

Tim is juggling another piece of bread in his mouth and the box of noodles. Several miss the pot of boiling water and the crumbs littering Tim's face makes him nervous. Eventually he takes the box from Tim and pushes him out the kitchen, banning him temporarily until dinner was ready. 

Tim whined but eventually forgot about it as he snuck out with the box of fruit roll ups. Jason made another mental note to get more of those too.

Despite the fact that Tim snacked heavily, he saved room for the main course. Eating up his serving happily, causing Jason to smile.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are much appreciated! ;3


End file.
